Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Late Bloomer?

Have you ever used or heard the phrase "she/he's just a late bloomer"? Have you ever really thought about where it came from and why so many people view that negatively? I have...maybe because I was a late bloomer and, so far, my oldest child has been a late bloomer. We have a one-size fits all society these days and there doesn't seem to be any room for diversity of any kind. How is it possible that we expect all children to be at the same developmental milestones at the same time and if they aren't, we label them "late". Are they really late? Maybe they're just right for them? Why is there so much pressure to be done with so much of life by the time we're 18, 20, 30, or 45...why aren't we just living life to the fullest, regardless of the years we've been here.

I really thought a lot about the concept of late bloomers when I started flowers from seeds. I planted them all the same day and put them all in the same window. I watered them all at the same time and, yet, some grew faster than others. Look at these Zinnias? One is so sturdy and strong and the other one is still little. Did I discard or dismiss the late bloomers as not good enough or behind? Of course not. When it came time to transplant my seedlings this weekend, the littler plant had "caught" up and was ready for transplanting, too.

Why are we so quick to label our children and ourselves? Honestly, I don't have any answers...I just know that in our house, we don't talk much about when we should reach milestone A or marker B...we just work towards individual goals. My kids will mature as they mature, just as I am doing...I can't rush it or slow it down. It is not a good thing or a bad thing...it just is.

What do you think?

7 comments:

Tootsie said...

Amen!

momstheword said...

About the mosquito bites....ow! Mosquitoes don't seem to like me. We go camping and they would bite my hubby and my kids but don't seem to like me. Ocassionally I'll get one brave soul, but not very often.

Totally agree about the late bloomer. Why should we always be in such a hurry, especially kids!

Yes, I miss being called mommy! Totally miss it!

loveaphid said...

Well in our family I think they are all late bloomers. Good thing we all live so long, gives us plenty of time. No need to worry or rush. I think that being a late bloomer is kind of good thing, you get to hang on to your youth that much longer, and lets face it being old before your time is certainly much worse than maintaining a youthful joi de vivre. I'm grateful to have been a late bloomer at 38 and 11 months, people still think I am in my late 20's. I think thats a pretty good trade off.

Sandra said...

I agree. God makes us all unique. Just like we wouldn't want to plant all of one kind of flower in a garden, God doesn't want us to be all the same. God likes variety and I"m glad he does! When my kids were small the doctor would say one wasn't on schedule and I would worry and try to find out what was wrong. But by the time the third one came, I just trusted God with it. He knows exactly what he's doing.

DarcyLee said...

Our society seems to thrive on putting everyone in a box. It starts at the doctor's office when our kids are babies like Sandra said, and goes on through school and into adulthood. That's one reason I love homeschooling-my kids could do things at their own pace with no peer or adult pressure.

sewducky said...

I don't label my kid. He's Casey and that's about it. I do try to give him as many experiences to round himself out as I can.
I keep telling my kid he better be a late bloomer, but he already got a pimple and has started to squeak a bit here and there at me, and he'll be 10 the end of the month.

I'm a late bloomer. I didn't get even remotely pretty until a few years ago, and I'm the type that'll be a gorgeous 50 year old and a terrible looking 24 year old. I figure I have more time as an older adult then I would as a young one, and am just as glad for it. It's better to be happy with who and what you are then competing with anyone else anyway.

andrea @ The Train To Crazy said...

Great words. Everything is hurry hurry these days. So much pressure on kids. I have no idea if my girls will be late bloomers but isn't that SO much better than the opposite?