Well, you might have noticed that I haven't posted here since Friday and now it is Monday evening and I'm not in the right frame of mind to participate in Making Your Home Sing Monday. I could blame my technology troubles, but I could have used one of the other computers if I'd been of a mind to post. The truth is, I didn't want to post. I'm grappling with some troubling issues that I won't/can't share with you all because there is no way to put them out here for discussion without compromising the privacy of other people. (Outing myself is one thing, outing someone else is not cool!)
Isn't it difficult to reconcile how you'd like things to be with how things just "are"? Sometimes it is so difficult to recognize that no matter how strong your will, no matter how dedicated you are, you just can't change some things. It is so difficult to watch people you care about behave in ways that are not going to get them the things they want, even as they stubbornly refuse to alter course. It is so clear that what we do says more about who we are than who we say we are. Sigh...no simple answers...now I'd just like some peace in my mind.
Anyway, this is my friend "A" (in the pink shorts) getting ready to cross the finish line for the LA Marathon last week--this year was her third marathon (her fourth one?) and I think she is amazing. I don't care what her time was. Years ago, we both talked about how cool it would be to run the marathon and that it would be even more cool to do it before we turned 40. Well, she did it when she was 39 (I think!), but I never did. Why? Because she wanted it more than I did. It is that simple. She was willing to put in the road work, deal with the hours of pain, the injuries, etc. and I wasn't willing to give up the things I would have to in order to do that. So, when I say I'd love to run the marathon and I never have, that really means "I don't want it more than I want to bake and sew and homeschool and garden". Likewise, when she says she'd like to bake more, she means "she'd like to bake, but not more than she'd like to run the marathon". I am in awe of her accomplishments, even as I celebrate my own. Taking ownership of our choices is one of the most difficult lessons we learn and it seems to be a difficult one to pass along, too. I celebrate A's recent victory...I'm so proud of her.
Making Your Home Sing Monday is still going on and everybody has some really good thoughts. Nan is actually joining the Five Moms in a Summer Cleaning Frenzy. Um, I'll pass (but I'll be watching the rest of them work up a sweat as they clean their houses from top to bottom). Head on over to Momstheword to see what else is going on this first week of June.