Monday, April 5, 2010

Monday Musings...

When my sister and I were trying to get to know each other with a blog that both of us had to contribute to, we started Monday Musings as a way to share some random thoughts on just about anything. Our blog ended December 31, 2009 and, with it, so did Monday Musings. I've decided to start it up again. No rules, no guidelines, just my random thoughts...feel free to jump in...I'd love to hear your opinion.

Monday Musings...
My oldest child, Charming, is an adult with a life that is almost completely separate from mine. This means many of his friends are heading off in other directions. Today he told me that one of his friends is engaged. I loved hearing the news, but it made me wonder if I'd her the news when she got married or had her first child. I don't know her parents at all. We moved here when Charming was almost 15, so the play dates, school functions, and sports that bind us all together when our children are little aren't part of my life up here. My friends back in So Cal have kids the same age as Charming and we used to share the news of our children's lives, making each family part of the other family's journey. Now those children are starting their lives, too, but I don't hear about the little things...the things people think are too trivial to share. They would be wrong. I feel like I'm missing something by not being part of their stories. I don't hear about the boyfriends, the new jobs, or the other things that are important in their lives.

These kids/young adults have been important to my son and have often spent some time with our family. But, as is often the case, the kids come and go in each other's lives. Some passed through our lives barely notice, but some, however, stick with me. Maybe I know more about them, maybe they had a spark that caught my attention. For whatever reason, I think of them. I wonder about them. While I'm not invested in their lives, I truly wish them the best and love to hear news of those lives. It makes me feel weird to think that for some of these kids, I'll just never know more than I already now. Now Charming is getting ready to graduate from college and the stories of the kids he's gone to school with will fade, leaving me with new questions. Will the room-mate the girlfriend actually get married? Will the female friend go on to be a biologist (or whatever kind of biological scientist she's planning on being). What about the kids that are just phoning it in? Will they finally find their passion and go for it? The truth is, I probably won't ever know. The only chapter I'll get to read is the one in which their lives intersected ours. It feels like I don't get finish the reach the happy ending I want for all of them.

They're at the beginning of some wonderful journeys and I'll not get to cheer them on. I think it makes me a little bit sad.

What do you think? Am I weird? Do you ever think about things like this?


Andrea said...

I totally get it...what you will find is an equally beautiful place in Charming's life. We are seeing that now with each our grown kids....we now have 4 grown and one still at home....a new season...beautiful in it's on way.
Hugs, andrea

Organizing Mommy said...

I think I would feel the way you do. It would be hard.

Anonymous said...

I've been so close to my kids friends that I can't imagine what the next few years are going to be like without them. A friend told a story once. She'd always cooked supper for her son's friends after ball games and finally her son graduated. She and Hubby were at home that next year already in pajamas enjoying not having kids at home when the back door opened and in walked 9 kids-ready for supper. Just because her son had graduated, the other kids hadn't given up on the tradition and had even brought the new player with them.

I hope my kid's friends will be like that, but we've been here for 15 years. They've always known this as home and called us Mommy and Dad. I hope that feeling won't go away once they graduate. They always have a home here. Unless they need a place to live (in that case, it's time they grew up. LOL)

loveaphid said...

Yes , you are weird. Not because of this mind you, this is perfectly reasonable. I actually feel this way about the kids who worked for me at Starbucks. So many of them were just really cool kids that I would love to watch climb to their success but I will likely never hear from again as they go on their way.

You are weird because of genetics. Nothing you can do about that. :-)

You love me and you know it.

CaliGirl said...

Erin, I've been meaning to reply to this post, but I've been busy with my mom's recuperation from shoulder replacement surgery (she did very well, and is pain free for the first time in 2 years!). Just got back to the office today after 3 weeks of family leave. Modern medicine is such a miracle!

I really related to this post. I (as I'm sure many others did) saw myself in this post and felt you were talking to me. I'm lucky cuz I get to follow your blog and see how the kids, you and Scott are doing. can only wonder about or read one of my far and few between emails of our doings.

One of these days when I'm not so busy with all the City of LA budget fiascos, I'm gonna write you an email with all the latest news and gossip about the kids (and us, too!).

Love you and miss you all.


CaliGirl said...

Oh, and you're not weird...I wonder the same thing all the time, especially about the kids that Devon and Aaron used to hang around with in the Covina neighborhood. Some of them, I'm friends with on Facebook, but others just dropped out of sight.