Monday, January 19, 2009
Early Morning Date!
I am a firm believer that married people with children need to remember that their children will grow up and live adult lives one day (if we do our jobs correctly), leaving those two people alone with each other once again. If you've spent 20 years being Mom and Dad and not ever being the Boy and Girl you used to be, then when the kids fly off to live their own exciting lives, you'll be left living with someone you don't really know any more.
This belief, however, runs headlong into my absolutely pathological refusal to take vacations without our children. You read that correctly...in 19.2 years of marriage, almost 18 years of parenthood, Superman and I have NEVER taken a vacation away from our children. I won't do it...I just, well, I just can't. (I don't think Superman wants to, either, but I accept full responsibility for this fact.)
So, that means we've had to be creative to get time together. We've been on dates to the park when we had just one baby, so we could watch him play and still be alone together. We've been on dates to the back deck when the kids are sleeping. When we both worked, we made sure we came home on the same train and considered that 30 minute ride every day to be our time together. Because we do it deliberately and consciously, these little times count for something. They add up. They are meaningful. They matter.
Now that the kids are older, we can sneak out for a dinner alone, or, since we're counting pennies and paying down debt, a breakfast date! These days we have a standing Monday morning date at McDonald's...we take two cars so he can head off to work and I can come home to my work...he's dressed beautifully because he's heading off to corporate America and I, well, today I'm in workout clothes so I can't renege on my workout commitment, but it still felt like a date! We talked about our hopes, our dreams, and weird things that pop into our minds. He told me I'm pretty, I told him he's awesome. He walked me to my car and gave me a kiss as he held the door for me. I told him to drive carefully and that I loved him. It was terrific.
You know what? After 20 years together, Superman is still my boyfriend...and I can hardly wait for our next date...
P.S. For anyone who is keeping track with Kate, I did, in fact, have another Egg McMuffin today, so that brings my 2009 tally to 6!