I'm Reading a Terrific Book Right Now...

...but you might not want to read it if you're easily offended by the use of the f-word.  Just giving you fair warning.  This book is fabulous, but it is not for those who can't get past that particular curse word because it is liberally sprinkled throughout the entire book.  (There!  That is my disclaimer, but I truly hope you won't let the word put you off because the book is terrific.)

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k - A Counterintuitive Approach to Living the Good Life by Mark Manson is a brand new self-help book which doesn't really fit into the mold of traditional self-help books.  The author's premise is that the pursuit of anything really just makes you focus on the lack or inadequacy of that thing in your life and because we don't understand that fundamental idea, we're not carefully choosing on what we expend our energy and emotions.  The first chapter is called titled "Don't Try".  (Not very rainbows and unicorns, is it?)


"The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience.  And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience" - Mark Manson


He writes:  "...Our crisis is no longer material; it's existential, it's spiritual.  We have so much f**king stuff and so many opportunities that we don't even know what to give a f**k about anymore."  [I warned you about his love of the f-word.]


He sites British philosopher Alan Watts "backwards law" -" the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place" regardless of how much of that something you might already have. "... The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you.  The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you become trying to get there."


Anyway, all of the above is in the first chapter...the author also uses Buddha, Megadeath and Metallica, and the Beatles to make his points.  He makes so much sense both about how we got here and how to get out of here...especially for those of us who are looking around and wondering what the heck is going on with people...his language might be crude, but his clarity is refreshing.  Be brave and just substitute a word of your own choosing for "f**k" and read the book.  Seriously, if you're the least bit interested and can get past the liberal use of the f-word, this a fabulous book and I highly recommend it. (Oh, and Superman says the guy who reads the audiobook version does a fabulous job, if that's your chosen medium.)


Oh, and if you do read the book and love it, or if you're not sure you can stomach his writing style, he writes a successful blog at Mark Manson.net where you can read more.

Days 5 & 6 - The 30-Day Paleo Challenge

Happy Cinco De Mayo!!  We're already concluding Day 6 of our 30 Day Paleo Challenge...can't believe we've made it through six days already! 

Day 5 turned out to be a fabulous one.   I got up early (for me!) and hit the road.  I spent five hours (including 2 hours of driving) getting my hair done by my oh-so-talented friend.  Not trying to hide my gray, but I do appreciate getting it blended in a little bit!

Look at this fabulous hair...it looks like Mother Nature painted it, doesn't it?

Doesn't she do a fabulous job?  The gray is still there, but didn't she do a wonderful job blending it in?  She is so worth driving for.



Dutch Oven Chicken, adapted from The Primal Blueprint Cookbook

Didn't hit the gym...I was still so sore from the workout the day before.  Still I made some wonderful Dutch Oven Chicken for dinner...it turned out fabulously. 

All in all, I think Day 6 was a productive and successful Paleo Challenge day.

On to Day 6 - Cinco De Mayo!!  I finally had a good night's sleep and got my point for sleepingWe stayed Paleo all day, until dinner.  Then, like much of the country, we headed out to our local Mexican restaurant and enthusiastically celebrated Mexican Independence Day!  Nope, not a Paleo meal...but that is okay, because I'd planned for a cheat meal and was strict for the day leading up to our meal.  My points for the day won't be good, but this is life, isn't it?

This is what it looked like after I initially blended together the egg, the lemon
juice, the first batch of oil, the salt, and the mustard powder.

Oh, and I made homemade olive oil mayonnaise!  Even better, it turned out well!  I'm so excited...I got the recipe from The Clothes Make the Girl.  Who knew you could make mayonnaise from scratch so easily!

This is after I drizzled in the one cup of oil!  It emulsified properly...woot!

Oh, and if your going to try it yourself, all the recipes talk about how the trick is to "drizzle" the olive oil oh-so-slowly to get the mixture to emulsify properly and I was scared to death that I'd ruin it.  I decided to put the olive oil in a squeeze bottle, so that I couldn't inadvertently pour the oil in tpo fast and ruin my mayonnaise.



The plastic bottle was the key to "drizzling" properly...

 It worked beautifully...

And Day 6 of the 30 Day Paleo Challenge concluded with a double feature:

Where the Boys Are for Buttercup,

followed by Blade Runner for Valiant.

I wonder if I'll convince him to read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?...only time will tell.

Another Book to Warm Your Spirit as Winter Winds Down

After reading The Little Book, I was fortunate enough to find another gem of a book.  I actually read about this book in the Costco newsletter.  It was their Buyer Pick and  I must confess I am glad to I took their recommendation.  The book I'm talking about is The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey.  In her debut novel, this Alaskan bookseller give us a lovely modern retelling of a fairy tale that might be familiar to many of you, but it is so much more than that.

The author paints a poignant picture of long winter days in early 20th century Alaska...the struggles of homesteading, the challenges of farming in such harsh conditions, and the unspoiled beauty of the land.

If you're looking for a book to cuddle up with as the winter winds down, I highly recommend The Snow Child.  I think you'll be enchanted.

Library Pig

Politics Pig

 Mystery Pig

Children's Section

Picking the right book!

 Checking it all out...

 

Reading...

Books I'm Reading

I read.  I read all the time.  I read books, newspapers, magazines, blogs, and news sites.  I love reading.  With my busy life, I tend to read fluffy fiction books, books that are quick and easy and I can fit into the free time in my life.  I can go months at a time without reading books of "substance"...I feel like I need the down time for my brain and so I take it.

Then my brain begins to atrophy and I start reading "better" books.  Some are terrific and some are not so terrific.  I've been fortunate, recently, to read some seriously terrific books.  A few months ago, I told you about So Sexy, So Soon, a book that tackles the highly-sexualized world our children live in and can help you steer your children clear.  Before that, I shared with you the tremendous impact The Four Agreements had on my life.   If you haven't read those books, and they apply to your circumstances, I urge you to read them.


Now, however, I'm tackling something new and different.   Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry into the Value of Work by Matthew B. Crawford.  I first heard about this book by listening to the author be interviewed for some radio program and was intrigued.  Mr. Crawford is a PhD in political philosophy who worked in a think tank and discovered he was completely unhappy, uninspired, and exhausted by this lifestyle he'd worked so hard for.  He quit and became a motorcycle mechanic.  (Yes, really.)  The book is the result of his life-changing journey.  The first 50 pages were so dry, I wondered if I'd made a mistake tackling this subject in this way, but the rest of it has made up for it.  The main premise is that we've lost the art of doing as society has grown to value "intellectual knowledge" but that the combination of thinking and doing is what feeds our souls.  Think you won't understand or agree with his message?  What do you think we're all doing as we tackle sewing projects or DIY projects or gardens or cooking from scratch?  We're feeding our souls by working with our minds and hands together.  He makes a compelling argument for education that supports just that, rather than just educating our children to work in cubicles.  Mr. Crawford admits that his examples and his supports are drawn from typically masculine endeavors, because that is his area of comfort, but that it doesn't make his arguments any less valid. 

The other book that I'd like to bring to your attention is The Narcissism Epidemic:  Living in the Age of Entitlement by Jean M. Twende, PhD and W. Keith Campbell, PhD.  This book is a must read.  Truly.  If you are alive and breathing, this book has relevance to your life.  It is just that simple.  If you read no other "real" book this year, you need to read this one.

Finally, I'm offering up a  fiction novel written by a girl I went to Junior High with all those years ago (many, many years ago!).  Of course, we grew up and didn't keep in touch. 33 years later, I was walking through our local library (a few months ago) and saw the author photo on the jacket of a novel and thought, "Hey, that looks just like Karen Kingsbury, all grown up."  I nabbed the book off the shelf and saw that the author's name was Karen Kingsbury, so I check it out, read it, and sent the author an email asking if she was the same Karen Kingsbury who'd attended school in So Cal all those years ago and she responded in the affirmative.  She was the girl I'd known so many years ago.  She's gone on to become a well-known writer of Christian fiction.  If you haven't read her,  you will be pleasantly surprised and if you have, you already know why I enjoy her books so much.  Anyway, the book I read last week was A Time To Dance.  If you're looking for an uplifting novel, her books never disappoint.

This Book Truly Changed My Life...

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz was recommended to me by a woman I know who is a counselor. As she put it, if she could make every human being read this book, she would. Well, with a recommendation like that, I was intrigued. I got a copy of the book a year ago and read it right away. It is a small book, but it is truly powerful. Basically, there are four agreements you need to agree to abide by and everything from your relationship with God to your relationship with people will be better. It is not all new-agey like A New Earth (which, I confess, I couldn't get through). It is just simply a way to get along.

Quoted from the inside cover:

The Four Agreements

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.


Look at the last two: Don't make assumptions and always do your best, even as you acknowledge your best will be different all the time. Aren't those powerful?

What about having the freedom to let go of responsibility for other people's actions? So-and-so was rude? Have compassion for whatever they might be going through instead of taking it personally.

Finally, think about speaking impeccably. Do you do that? All these things tie together and as I've learned to live more and more by the Four Agreements, my life has had less conflict and less drama than ever before.

"Have you read this book?" or "My small soapbox moment"

I read a lot. I read fiction, primarily, but lately I've been adding a number of non-fiction titles to my reading. After a long wait on the library list, I was finally at the top of the list for a book I'd requested a few months ago. I finished it a few days ago and I find myself compelled urge all of you (parents and non-parents) to read it, too.

The book is called "So Sexy, So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do" by Diane Levine and Jean Kilbourne. This books explores the hyper-sexualized society in which children are being raised these days. Television, radio, school, and stores are all pushing a level of sexuality on our children that is confusing and inappropriate and, frankly, that they are not equipped to deal with. If you think to yourself, "We didn't look that way when we were in Junior High!", you are absolutely correct. I would wager that my friends who are teachers would agree that the level of overt sexuality, inappropriate sexual behavior, and sexual awareness in the classroom is unprecedented and uncomfortable for everyone.

Let's face it...we live in a world where little girls in kindergarten know that being sexy is a good thing, even if they don't know what "sexy" actually means. They are body aware and younger and younger ages. Little boys receive their own confusing messages as they watch/listen to men degrade women and women parade around barely clothed. Even though these things might not be happening in your own home, your children are seeing and trying to process these things. Before you think your kids are too young or completely insulated, I urge you to think for a minute. Unless you live in a cave, they've seen these things. Anybody had their children ask them what "erectile dysfunction" is? What about, "What is an erection lasting more than four hours?"...we were watching History Channel this evening and my children heard and quesitoned both those things. What about that stupid Paris Hilton Carl's Jr. commercial that was on a few years ago? Remember that? She was writhing all over car squirting water on herself and moaning? Gee, what was the subliminal symbolism there? These are not "late night" commercials, either. These are commercials that are on during "prime time" for goodness' sake.

This book tackles children's exposure to inappropriate content beginning at preschool age (oh, yes, it is there) and moves on through high schoolers. Even if you are doing your very best to keep the children in your life insulated from these messages, it behooves you to understand why and how they are being transmitted to your children. Even if you feel certain your faith and your church are sending strong messages of what is appropriate, you must remember that your children are spending their days with children who might not be getting those same messages. For parents who've never really thought about combating it, or feel helpless in the face of the onslaught, the book concludes with techniques to help combat this exposure and its ramifications at every age.

Unlike some books of this nature, this book was a quick read and just reinforced my commitment to be vigilant protecting my children's right to be children. I am not a prude. I understand all human being have innate sexuality and my children are no different, but the pace at which they experience grown-up things should not be media driven.

Okay, that is my soapbox and I'm stepping off it for now. I urge you to read this book...it is worth your time. It is not preachy, it is practical.

Please let me know if you prefer me to stick to cooking and sewing and crafting. I'm not sure I'll be able to, but I'd like to know what you think.