As you might be aware, for a few years now, my family has been in transition. Heck, you might even be bored of the topic, but man, it's a big transition to go from active parenting of younger children to hands-off parenting of adult children. I've mentioned some of it in my very sporadic blog posts, but I didn't even scratch the surface. The last of our children left the nest within six months of each other and both of them are now married. Superman and I became grandparents when Buttercup and her husband had a little boy last summer. Valiant and his wife live across the country and Charming is across the state. Family togetherness, at least for now, is a distant memory.
On top of that, Superman and I decided we couldn't say no to an amazing career opportunity for him, so he's traveling again. When I tell you the nest is empty, the nest is EMPTY. And yet, Superman and I seem to be busier than ever. We have grand plans for our empty nest life and are pursuing them with a single-minded focus and we have a renewed energy as we pursue our goals.
Swedish death cleaning was a huge help to this transition. I know I posted about the ins and outs of Swedish death cleaning before, but I can't stress enough how good this was for us. Letting go of the life that "was" makes room for the life that "will be". We aren't holding on to the past in a way that limits our ability to embrace the future. It has been so liberating to shed the detritus of those years, only holding on to the things that have true meaning. Of course, we did hold on to some things, but only things that have meaning to us and that we think might have meaning to our children. For example, it is lovely to see our grandson in a crib that was used first for my brother, and then for our own children. It has been so sweet to see him in a playpen that has been in our family for more than 50 years. (Seriously, buying quality and being resistant to "new and improved" has served us well.)
It was a lovely trip down memory lane and also a loving farewell when I scanned in all of our analog photos (so many photos in boxes...I thought they'd never end!) and then combined them with all of our digital photos and placed them on a thumb drive for the each of the kids. This is their history to keep and maintain as they see fit. I felt lighter and a little buoyant as I shipped off all of their belongings and then gifted them all these photos. But it also really cemented a thought for me: Memories are so personal. All of those baby pictures that bring a smile of remembrance to your face are of a time that the subject of the photo doesn't even remember...those are YOUR memories, not theirs. You can't really know what is a treasured memory or a treasured belonging for your adult child. Anyway, I digress...this project is all done and handed off to the next generation and our home is now more reflective of the journey to come rather than looking back at the life that was.
I read a blurb somewhere that said the majority of your parenting will be done to adult children and that is the stage we're in. I know it sounds as if we've washing our hands of our children, but that is far from the truth...we just truly respect that they are living their lives now and we have confidence in their ability to do just that. We raised them well and they're all very competent, capable individuals in their own right. Our "job" is done and we've happily handed the reins to them and we are enjoying watching the paths they choose for themselves.
So, there it is. We've made it through the empty nest transition and come out the other side. We feel energized and excited to see what the future holds, and I think this blog is going to come back to life now that I don't have to worry about infringing on teenagers' privacy. (That was a big consideration for me once they were of an age..,I didn't want post things that could potentially make them feel their privacy had been violated.) Heck, I might even open it up to my adult children to contribute to because, it is, after all, the Nagle5 News and I no longer speak for all of the Nagle5.
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