Monday Musings - Would You Hire YOU?

Superman and I were discussing home improvement projects the other day and Superman said something that has been bouncing around in my head ever since.  With respect to paying someone to work for you, he said, "You pay people thousands of dollars to do the job and you don't want to have to worry about the job.  At that point, you just expect it to be handled."  He's absolutely correct.  On the rare occasions that we've paid someone to perform work for us, we've just expected it to be done expediently and correctly.    Once we've made the decision to let someone else handle it, we pick someone to do the job that will, in fact, do the job, thereby freeing us to move on to something else.

That conversation got me thinking about work we don't pay someone else to do.  Work we've held onto as our responsibility and how we handle that responsibility.  I was looking at my bathroom (my not-so-secret shame) and thinking that I would definitely NOT hire me to clean bathrooms.  I just don't clean them enough.  Seriously.

That is how it started.  After that, I assessed my performance as I performed all sorts of everyday tasks. In some cases, I was pleased by my performance evaluations.  In others, a bit chagrined.

Here is what I concluded:  I'm an okay jane-of-all trades housekeeper, but I still have stuff to learn from Aunt Bee and June Cleaver.  I would NOT hire me to clean floors, but I would DEFINITELY hire me for vacuuming.   Dusting?  Once a week has to be good enough.  Windows?  Uh, moving right along.  Cook?  I would hire me to cook if you like "plain" fare, but if you're looking for exotic meals, I'm not your girl.  Kitchen maid?  My kitchen is clean and organized.  Laundress?  I am your girl.  Bookkeeper?  For plain-vanilla record keeping, I'm definitely worth hiring, but that is partly because I'm really good at the next task.  Organizer? I would not hesitate to hire me to keep the house organized, too.  Gardening and yard work?  Not so much, but I'd make a really good apprentice (I have the desire and commitment, but not the know-how.)  Auto Maintenance?  LOL!  We pay people to do that!

What about all these other jobs?  Financial Manager?  Supply Officer?  Wardrobe Mistress?  Fitness coach?  Nutritionist? Social Director?  What is it you do all day and are you doing it well enough that you'd hire yourself to do the quality of work you give to yourself and your family?  Have you ever thought about it in those terms?

In this day and age, we all have the option of working outside the home or staying in the home.  We also have the option of having smaller homes or larger homes.  How many of us, however, treat the tasks we have in conjunction with those choices as jobs we've agreed to do.  Using my bathroom example (yes, I'll take one for the team here):  By failing to clean my bathrooms often enough, I am failing to do a job I was "hired" to do when Superman and I agreed that I would stop working outside the home and takeover the home-caring duties.   No one forced me into this "job".  I chose it very deliberately.   I worked outside the home (in offices) for 20 years.  Filing was boring, but I never would have refused to do my filing on the grounds that I "just am a slacker in that area", so why is it that I think it is okay to shirk my bathroom cleaning duties?

It comes down to these ideas:

Acceptance of responsibility:  It really is my job and I agreed to do it when I accepted the job.  I doubt Aunt Bee complained to Sheriff Andy that she didn't feel like cooking dinner for Opie and him.


Objective assessment:  Would I pay someone to do the job I'm doing?  (Um, in the case of my bathrooms...yes, I'd pay someone to do the job I'm doing, but she'd need to show up to work more frequently.)  I doubt June Cleaver was ever embarrassed to have someone see her "cat bathroom".

Prioritization and Standards:  I have to decide if a certain task really needs to be done (and how frequently).  Some things don't really need to be done.  What do I mean?  I really, really didn't want to be a "Pool and Spa Boy" a few years ago, but Superman's job was leaving him with insufficient time to handle the job himself.  (It had been his job.)  After a summer of inadequacy (and a green pool), I convinced Superman that since neither of us wanted to be the "Pool Boy", we should just get rid of the pool.  Oh, the feeling of release that came when that happy young family took off with our pool.  I can't tell you.  No longer did we have a job that we did poorly, instead the job went along with the pool.  In short order, we figured out neither of us wanted to be the "Spa Boy", either, so the hot tub left a few months later.  In effect, we "quit" those jobs.  


Caring for a home is a job made up of many different jobs that you've accepted when you made the decision to live someplace that doesn't, in fact, have full time housekeeping.  It is just the way it is.  No more excuses...you wouldn't accept them from somebody you were paying to do the job, so why are you accepting them from yourself?

Me?  I'm just not getting the bathrooms cleaned frequently enough and I'm unwilling to get rid of them, so I've got to stop doing such a poor job.  I signed up for this.

My post actually ties in nicely with Momstheword's Making Your Home Sing Monday post this week, so I'm linking to her meme.  She's got some really good thoughts about "taking back your home".   (I guess we were both looking around and assessing what we could do better this week!)

Making Your Home Sing Monday - Monday Musings

Making Your Home Sing Monday

I haven't been joining in on Mom's the Word's Making Your Home Sing Monday because, well, I haven't felt I had anything to add.  This week is different.  As you may know, I just spent two wonderful weeks with my family all together in one place (even my adult son came "home" whenever he could).  It was blissful.  Our extended "family" of friends spent tons of time with us.  Then, we put Superman on a plane back to his place of work and "family time" changed to Skype calls, emails, mailing goodies to each other.  Weird, by so many people's standards, we know.

What does this have to do with Making Your Home Sing Monday?  Simply this:  A home sings when the members are true to themselves and are allowed to follow where they are being led.  Since we first came together, more than 21 years ago, Superman and I have NOT followed common wisdom.  For whatever reason, NOT following common wisdom, established paths, societal norms, whatever you want to call it, works for us.  When we listen to where we're being guided rather than following what we're told we "should" be doing, we are blessed beyond measure.  It is just that simple.  (Not having a theological discussion, so I'm not going into who is doing the guiding; you can fill in that information for yourself.) 

Don't believe me?  Superman and I started living together 10 days after our first date.  (Hey, it was the 80s!  Need I say more?)  We got married less than a year after our first date and are still going strong.  (People were taking bets on our demise at our wedding!)  We had our first child 14 months after we got married, even though we were not financially stable.  I quit my job to stay home with our kids even though we had no idea how Superman would actually support our family of 4.  (We added Buttercup after we'd decided I would quit said job.)  How did that all turn out?  Well, we've been happily married almost 21 years and I've been able to be home with the kids for 12 years.  Our oldest child has already graduated from college.  I'd say we've done pretty well there.

We sold our house in Southern California before we knew where we were moving.  Superman bought us a house in Eastern Washington that a) I had never seen and b) even though he didn't have a job in Eastern Washington and c) even though we knew not one person in Eastern Washington.  How did that turn out?  Well, Superman bought a house we've come to absolutely adore in a neighborhood wherein our neighbors became our best friends.  (They even drove across the state to help me stage an epic surprise for Superman and the kids.) Superman found a wonderful job two days after we moved into this house and it served him well for four and a half years.

Finally, despite coming from a family filled with teachers, we home-school our two younger children (and home-schooled our oldest for middle school and watched him with pride as he finished out his primary education at the local junior college before heading off to a four-year university at 17). 

Those are just a few of the ways we've bucked traditional wisdom and marched to the beat of a different drummer.  Was it scary?  Not really.  Why?  Because we knew those things were the right thing to do. 

Now we're at it again.  Superman left a good job to pursue his career as a civilian contractor for the US military.  People thought he was crazy for wanting to do it and thought I was crazy for agreeing to it.  It didn't feel crazy.  It felt right.  So far, it has been.  Has it always been easy?  No.  No one promised life would be easy, however.  It is the challenges in life that help us to grow...just like that song that says "God gave us mountains so we could learn how to climb".

Still don't see what this has to do with Making Your Home Sing Monday?  Honestly, maybe you won't think it does.  For my family, however, we've discovered that listening to that guidance, even as it is steering us away from the tried and true, leads us to places we've never dreamed of going and gives us joy we didn't expect.  Going thousands of miles away from the family didn't move us farther apart as a family; instead, it caused Superman to rededicate himself to our family and our marriage and feel blessed by the life we have made together.  Having him absent from the household has helped me to remember how capable I am.  Far from being intimidated by the challenges I face without him, I work to make him proud of me and our kids.  The successes we experience make our family sing in spirit day in and day out, even if the notes we reach are the ones we expected. 

So, I ask you:  Do you allow your home to sing in new and exciting ways?  In tunes and rhythms you might have been afraid to sing?  Make Your Home Sing by being brave and following the path being put before you.  Listen to the voice that guides you to do something different.  You won't regret it.  Making Your Home Sing doesn't have to mean that your home is singing just like the neighbor's house sings, or your friend's house sings, or your mother's house always sang.  Your home is supposed to sing a song that is unique to your family, unique to the journey you all embarked on together.  Don't be constrained by expectations that are "what everyone should do", but instead free your heart to follow the path that fits your family and hear the song unique to your home.

As for me and mine?  We're doing well.  Yes, we put the head of our household on a plane last Friday, but we still feel like a family.  We're humming right along.  We're planning our next joint vacation - no secrets from the kids this time.  The tears that we shed the first time Superman flew away in January have been replaced by the anticipation we feel as we look forward to the new songs we'll be singing.

Making Your Home Sing Monday - Unplugged

It is Making Your Home Sing Monday and our home has been humming right along. Nothing has changed. This past week, we enjoyed having Charming home from college for his spring break. It was really nice. We also celebrated Buttercup's 11th birthday. Now, this week the neighborhood kids have spring break and my home-schooled children have spring break right along with them. I'm taking this time to breathe. Seriously...just breathe.

How does this relate to Making Your Home Sing? We've deliberately unplugging. I'm like MTV, just not as cool! Seriously. Have you noticed that the frequency of my posts has declined? (Oh, please say you have!) Well, anyway, even if you haven't noticed that I'm posting less, I have been posting less. I'm spending more time sewing and taking care of the greenhouse/garden. Getting up and getting out.

So, what have we been doing instead of sitting in front of the computer/game system/television? Well, last weekend we had the opportunity to volunteer on a home improvement project for someone who really needed help. (You can go here if you want to see more about that.)

Saturday evening, we started Game Night up again. I missed it, the kids missed it and craft night was too chaotic. It was fun.

Yesterday, we did quite bit of yard work, getting the backyard ready for spring. (Valiant even mowed the back lawn.)

And today we invited a group of our homeschooling friends to our home for lunch and for play. The kids played outside for a while and then, yes, the kids did play Rock Band, but they played together. (We were hoping for a weenie roast and s'mores, but the weather foiled our plans.) The kids had a ball, the moms enjoyed the time to chat, and before anyone realized it, 1 o'clock became 5:45 p.m.

And that, my friends, is how we're making our home sing. We're trying to give more of ourselves and worry less about things. We're trying to interact in real life rather than living a life full of parallel play with one child on a computer, one child on a game system, and me watching a documentary, reading a blog, or whatever. Tra la la...that is our song!

Have a happy week...I know I will.

Head over to Momstheword to see what everyone else is doing to Make Singing Homes!

Making Your Home Sing Monday

Momstheword says, "Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). ... what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless."

Making Your Home Sing Monday is simply a way to get yourself to focus, even for a moment, on the power you have to design your own life. To deliberately fashion a home for yourself and your loved ones that suits you all. To be conscious of the effect you that have and can have on the atmosphere in your own home. That is some powerful stuff. Have you ever thought about it? Truly? Have you looked around and thought about how you are contributing to the mood of your home? I think a lot of us tend to look outwards when we're trying to solve a problem. After all, isn't it much easier to blame your husband or your kids for whatever isn't right in your house? You know you work so hard to take care of the home. Do you stop to think that how you think about that caring is as important as the physical effort you put into it? Honestly, I know a lot of people who don't... Don't take ownership for the disharmony in their homes... Don't take ownership for the messiness of their homes... Don't take ownership for the unacceptable behavior of their children...

Taking ownership isn't easy. Taking ownership daily is even more difficult. But the rewards are boundless.

Do you watch Biggest Loser? You know I do, right? Last night I was watching it via hulu.com (you know about hulu.com, right?). If you watched any of this season, you know that Miggy was an entirely unpleasant woman until a week or so before she was sent home. She was belligerent, hostile, and so negative. Truly. The only redeeming quality she seemed to have was her dedication to her daughter (even as you wondered if that was, in fact, a healthy thing). Anyway, she was sent home at the end of episode 7 and was transformed. Truly transformed. She was almost unrecognizable as the same woman. Why? As she put it, she had been so negative in her life, so filled with negativity, that it impacted everything. Since leaving the "ranch", she started meditating and "releasing the negative energy" and living her life with positive energy and it showed. Oh, don't get me wrong...she still has quite a bit of weight to lose and her life isn't perfect, but her entire countenance has been transformed. She herself described it has having an "unbelievable impact" on her life and it showed. It was actually awe-inspiring to witness.

So, what does that have to do with Making Your Home Sing Monday? Well, after wallowing in some negative energy myself (getting sick and staying sick does that to me) and feeling it weigh us all down, I've decided to stop it...right now...this moment...and I've decided to choose the positive. Just as I'm no longer yelling at my kids (and, boy, do they think me very quiet is scary!), I'm not going to harp on things. Our lives are good lives (notice I didn't say perfect) and I am going to make sure we operate from a position that recognizes that. Yes, chores have to get done, bills have to be paid, tasks are looming in front of us, but how we view them, the words we use to describe them and the manner in which we fulfill our responsibilities can be transformative.

So, this week, my home will still be humming right along, but we're kicking the negativity to the curb and we're owning the atmosphere in our home. (Oh, and the sunshine isn't hurting our efforts, either!)

Making Your Home Sing Monday - Just Humming Along

It is 9:44 PM Monday night and I'm just now getting to my blog post...that should tell you how busy I've been keeping myself. It is still Making Your Home Sing Monday and I'm jumping in at the 11th hour! My sister sent me an email a few hours ago asking if my home was singing. It is, I promise.
Attitude is everything. I guess you can say that or hear it enough. Nan asks us to do this exercise of "Making Your Home Sing Monday" to remind us to stop to think about how you and your attitude determine/steer the attitudes of everyone else in your home. We try. I know we all do. Every week I read about the commitments to home that all of us make. Even so, sometimes it takes a little bit of sunshine to help you line everything up. The plague (okay, the really bad cold) has left our house. Everyone is finally feeling well and, to help us right along, this past weekend was beautiful! Absolutely gorgeous. Warm (in the high 50s and I heard rumors of low 60s) and bright. I spent hours in the greenhouse tending to baby plants. I heard the neighbors out doing yard work and I got the kids out with me to do some preliminary yard work, too. We even cleaned up the garage!

I was inspired, so I kept going: I cleaned out more stuff from the "black hole" and made a few trips to Goodwill. We had people over again for Craft Night/Game Night. (This week it was two moms talking while the kids played.) I even got out of the house to have dinner with Mrs. M and her kids last night.

My point?

A terrific weekend set us up for a wonderful week and we're planning on taking advantage of it. I woke up in such a good mood and nothing has shaken it. I think we've truly turned the corner with dealing with Superman's absence and have settled well and good into a new rhythm.

I've been able to stick to my "no yelling" challenge and the kids have responded so well. Me? Yell? I know...difficult to believe, but I do. I mean, I did. For the past four weeks, I've privately challenged myself to stop yelling. The change in our home is palpable and I feel badly that I've not challenged myself to do this sooner. Homeschooling is easier when I manage my frustration with intelligence rather than escalating.

Oh, and as I was heading to Goodwill to drop off even more stuff today, I saw a very good-looking young man standing on the street corner by the university. We thought, "Hey, that is a good-looking young man...I wonder what he's doing?" So, I had Valiant give his brother's cell a call and discovered that Charming (yes, he was the young man standing on a street corner!) was heading out to get his taxes done, so we picked him up and took him with us and then kept him all evening. Is it kidnapping if it is your own child you pick up off the street?

Friday night I cut out six pairs of pajama pants - yes, six! - and today I got them ALL sewn. Did I mention no one in my family is short--Charming has a 37" inseam, for goodness' sake. That makes for a lot of sewing! (Okay, I have to do the ribbon ties on the waistbands for two pairs, but I was able to send Charming home with his two pair.) I blame Andrea at The Train to Crazy for all this sewing. She has this Make It/Wear It sewing challenge going on and I didn't quite commit to participate, but I've been heading over to see what everyone else is doing and I just couldn't resist. My fingers were itching to get to the sewing machine. So, my back hurts, my arms hurt, and my neck is tired, but I have a huge smile of accomplishment on my face.

So what am I doing to Make My House Sing this week? Honestly? Nothing. Nothing is broken, so nothing is changing. We had a terrific day and we'll just be humming right along this week. Sometimes, you just need to stop and be grateful for where you are right in this moment. Life is good, even if it is not perfect.

P.S. I guess I wasn't the only one inspired by the weather...Momstheword's post is about Spring Cleaning! It must be in the air!

Making Your Home Sing Monday

It is Making Your Home Sing Monday...the time we think consciously about what we are doing and can be doing to make our homes sing all week long. Momstheword is the lady who encourages us to never lose sight of the power we have to determine the quality of life in our homes and I, for one, am grateful she started this meme more than a year ago (!). Anyway, this week my home will be singing a happy tune because I've taken the kids on a mini vacation!

Yes, you read that correctly...I picked up my two youngest children and headed out of town.

No, it is NOT a big deal trip...we left early (dark o'clock early) Sunday morning and will be home late Monday (tonight) but for the kids, this feels like the trip of a lifetime. Why? Because I refused to tell them where we were going. The fun of not knowing in advance what thing Mom has up her sleeve has made them act, well, like kids again. The bickering, the eye rolls, the general teen-aged angst were replaced by enthusiasm that spilled over to other aspects of their lives...even chores!

No, we won't be going on mini vacations every week. These past few weeks have been a powerful reminder that I need to put effort to keeping fun in our lives, even as we deal with the monotony of every day life. Not an easy task, but definitely a worthwhile one! Try having a special picnic on the carpet or a special date with your kids. Make it something a few days out so that they have time to anticipate it. It doesn't have to be a big thing...it has to be a special thing.

So, what are you doing to Make Your Home Sing this week? Head over to Momstheword for inspiration.

P.S. Where did I take them? Well, we got a super discounted homeschooler rate for here. Doesn't it look like fun?

Making Your Home Sing - The Where-Did-My-Day-Go Edition

Okay, before I share with you my thoughts about our upcoming week, I thought I'd share with you a little something that made me chuckle all day long.

Every morning (internet allowing) we talk to Superman before he heads off for bed (he's 11 hours ahead of us)...that means he's heard and seen how under the weather we've been these past few weeks. He's seen how we look and how we sound. You would think that would give him a pretty good feel for what was going on, right? Wrong! This morning Superman informed me that he knew I was really sick because I haven't been posting on my blog. Seriously! I burst out laughing. Yes, even Superman judges my wellness based on my blog posts. Come on...you have to admit that is funny, isn't it?

Okay, back to business. It is Making Your Home Sing Monday and I feel like we missed an entire week. Last week passed in a blur. Sometimes your body just forces you to slow down and for me, that time came last week. After celebrating Valiant's birthday, we circled the wagons and hunkered down. All non-essential activities were canceled. We even canceled Craft Night/Game night. The end result? It worked. I'm on the mend and Buttercup, who is four days behind me with this "plague", is getting better even faster.

Making My Home Sing? My kids are singing a happy song because Mom is not just going through the motions this week. Don't get me wrong...I've done everything I needed to in the past few weeks, but my best just wasn't very good and the kids knew it. They took advantage of it. What? You thought they were perfect? Oh, they are...perfect "children", which means they got more and more lax and more and more mouthy as the time progressed. They even got rude on Skype while Dad or LoveAphid could hear. (Oh yea, they were getting that comfortable with themselves!)

What? My kids are happy to have me clamping down and nipping this rebellion at the bud? Definitely. Our children need us to be parents. Not buddies, not roommates, but parents. They need us to be in charge and set the pace and create order in their world. Sometimes circumstances change, but our kids need us to be back in charge as soon as we can.

We've had two days of amazing weather here in Eastern Washington. Bright beautiful days have revitalized me. Sunshine and warm weather have helped me get physically better and, frankly, did wonders for my mood, too. I woke up full of energy this morning and I had great intentions to get blogging before I got to work today, but the sunshine and feeling good for the first time in weeks was just too tempting, so I'm posting this at 9:30 at night.

So, what did I do with my beautiful children today? Well, let's see. We cleaned up bedrooms, vacuumed the house, dusted, made a trip to the dump with our recyclables, made too trips to the Goodwill Donation drop-off, made it to WalMart to buy $4 sheets to make a new futon cover for the futon in Buttercup's room, and even had time to have a "wall cleaning party". We also spent time in the greenhouse sowing our vegetable seeds and transplanting Buttercup's tomato plant (which has flowers again!). This evening, Valiant manned the barbecue all by himself and served some terrific hamburgers to his sister and me.

The best part? None of this was tough. The children were cheerful participants and none of it seemed rushed or forced. Proof positive that Mom's attitude really does determine the mood of the household, even when our attitude is a symptom of something else. My children were cheerfully doing chores, cheerfully helping each other and me to get the things done we always do. I don't know what we'll be singing...I just know that we will. And that, my friends, is such a wonderful feeling.

So, Happy Monday to you all...may it be a fantastic week at your house. Don't forget to get some inspiration by heading over to Momstheword's to see what everyone else has been thinking about this week.

Making Your Home Sing Monday – Just Another Manic Monday

Can you believe it is already Monday again? Seriously? Where does the time go? These days my life seems to be moving at the speed of light. Nan reminds us to Make Our Homes Sing using Monday as the day to rededicate ourselves to a harmonious home and I am reminded my attitude as we transition to a new normal will determine how everyone else in the family handles these changes. I've come to the conclusion that just another "Manic Monday" will be our reality for awhile and I'm more than okay with that.

As a family that very deliberately stepped off the merry-go-round that seems to define modern families, I confess to being surprised at how busy our humble lives still seem to be. We don't have kids in multiple activities, running from this place to that, but we sure are busy. I can't imagine how we'd be doing if we were participating in band and sports and clubs, too. Just maintaining our home and getting the schoolwork done and participating in the few things we do fills our days and evenings. With Superman gone, I'm noticing that the kids are NOT eager to sign up for more responsibilities. Instead, they prefer one-time activities, like heading out for a movie or an afternoon bowling, rather than committing to week after week of an activity. Valiant loves his stage combat class, but I think he'd be frustrated if it required longer than an 8-week commitment. So, my hat's off to all of you who can run from activity to activity with a smile on your face. I stand in awe of your dedication and inner strength.

I've figured out a few sanity-saving tricks:

*All my blog posts must be written Sunday night and scheduled to post appropriately. This allows me to participate in something I love without making myself crazy over it.

*Bedtime has become a ritual rather than just a time of day. We head upstairs together at 9:30-ish and get all ready for bed, including tidying the main level in preparation for the following morning, then I read two chapters of a book we're enjoying together. It gets us all ready for sleep and allows us to wake-up cheerfully each morning.

*I am not exercising on weekends. I need a bit of down-time, even from my expectations for myself. Progress will still be made, but if this is a life-style change (the way exercise is supposed to be) then "rushing" myself doesn't make any sense.

*We watch a little boy for 45 minutes each weekday morning, after which we have scheduled breakfast, chores, and exercise and lunch. School begins after lunch. This way our mornings aren't hectic, the kids don't feel pressured, and if Superman can Skype us before he goes to bed, we don't feel stressed about the things we are "supposed" to be doing.

I am sure more things will resolve themselves as we go on, but for now, these little tweaks have really helped us accomplish the things we need to accomplish while still enjoying each other. After all, if it is all drudgery, what is the point?

So, as we begin our fourth week with a long-distance Daddy, we'll be cheerfully singing "Manic Monday" by the Bangles. (Did you know Prince actually wrote this song? Weird, eh?) Life is busy, life is crazy, but it is our life and it is a good one.

P.S. Nan's post is all about taking charge of your day by consciously thinking about what you want to have happen and developing a plan to see it through. It is fantastic. Head over and be inspired.

Making Your Home Sing Monday...

My friend Mrs M. is married to an active duty military man. Her husband goes overseas a lot (at least in the time that I've known them)--a few times a year for 3-6 months at a time. When she heard Superman leaving five days after Mr. M was leaving, she went down a check list to make sure I knew to do certain things to make things easier during his absence. (Taking Superman's car off the insurance to save all that money - check; getting power of attorney - check.) She also promised me that it was only going to take two weeks before we got into a rhythm without Superman. I figured if she could say that in all confidence while her husband was leaving her with an 11-year old girl, a 9-year old boy, and a 5-week old boy, she must know what she was talking about. I'm glad I filed that away...I held onto it during the kids' meltdowns, the tough bedtimes, and learning to be a Skype-wife. Well, she was right...it was two weeks on Friday and I can honestly say we've found our rhythm. After two weeks of processing and travel, Superman himself has settled into a work schedule a half a world away. We've been blessed to being doing this in a time of incredible technology...we can see each other almost every day! How crazy lucky are we?

As Making Your Home Sing Monday comes around again the Nagle family, near and far, is singing Don't Worry, Be Happy. We've stopped feeling sad and are feeling lucky again. We're settling into the new rhythm of our lives and it is a good one. With Superman settling into his job, we know when we can look forward to a Skype call and we're not afraid we'll miss him. Our school schedules are settling in, too.

Nan talks a lot about how our attitude as keeper of the home determines the quality of the experiences of everyone in the family and this past two weeks has been a reminder of this. Superman and I had many discussions before he accepted his overseas position. We knew it wouldn't be easy. We also knew however, that this was an opportunity he really wanted to pursue. Nobody made him take this job. This separation is not anything anybody did to us. This is a choice we made to further the long-term goals of our family. Making the choice meant we chose to accept the bad with the good.

The last two weeks have reminded us about all the blessings we have in our lives. All I can say is that the bad is just not too bad. Yes, Superman is out of the country for a year. Superman has a job he loves while so many people are struggling to find work. We have terrific neighbors. We live in a lovely home while so many people are struggling to hold on to their homes. We have an awesome family. We're all healthy and thriving while people are grappling with serious medical conditions. We just have so much going for us. How can we not be happy?

Sometimes you have to have patience to get to the other side. You have to have faith in the decisions you've already made and see them through. Just like the two weeks Mrs. M promised me, it all works out. You just have to remember just how lucky you are and be happy with where you are right this very instant.

Making Your Home Sing Monday

It is Making Your Home Sing Monday and this week Nan is talking about "failing" in her post for Making Your Home Sing Monday. How you feel so frustrated with yourself when you spend too long on the internet, or eat that donut, or don't get done what you planned to do. "Failure?" As I was contemplating last week and looking ahead to this week, I just couldn't use the word failure.

Here I gave you my list of things I needed to get done. I didn't get them all done. Not even close. Yet, I don't feel like a failure. Why not? Because making your home sing is not always about getting certain things done. The list I made last week did what it needed to do: it gave me a sense of order after too long without it. I took charge again and felt fantastic, even though many of the things on my list fell to the wayside as I had other things that needed my attention.

I did exercise five days last week and I picked right up with it today. Much of my time last week was spent on things I didn't think to put on the list. I got our taxes done. Valiant had a tough time after having his wisdom teeth pulled. It feels like I rearranged the entire house in a few days and we did host an awesome craft night, leading to a day of sewing with my daughter - priceless.

The rest of the stuff? Not done. I still need to work on the curriculum for the kids and our New Year's letters are sealed and ready to be mailed tomorrow. The thank-you's are going to be printed and written tonight and added to tomorrow's mail. (I'm using images from Indie Fixx's Feed Your Soul to make the cards...they are free and they are so cute.)

What does this have to do with making my home sing? Everything! I think it is important that we remind ourselves harmony happens when we decide to be happy and happiness has a sound all its own. It is not always about the results, but the attitude. Last week our began my week feeling so out of control, I just knew that things would spiral if I didn't get a handle on my own feelings. This week, I have more things to do than last week, but I'm feeling full ready and able to cope with them all. Attitude is everything and we are in charge of our own attitudes. This week will be a terrific one, regardless of what I get crossed off my to-do list.

No matter how much remains undone at the end of the week our house will be singing right along...and failure will not be how we describe ourselves.

To see what everyone else is up to this week, head over to Momstheword and check in with Nan.

Making Your Home Sing Monday

Monday again. It is already the third Monday in January! Can you believe it? It is already time for Making Your Home Sing Monday and I must admit that I am feeling like I am reinventing the wheel these days. Seriously.


As you know, Superman has begun employment as a civilian contractor overseas and shipped out Friday. Oh, he's still in the US until Friday morning, but for the family's purposes, he's begun "Clark's Overseas Adventure". What does that mean for us? It means that we've gone from seven people at the holidays down to three people for the rest of the year. It means that we are no longer scheduling our days to be finished "before Daddy gets home from work". It means our weekends aren't dedicated for "family time". Instead, as homeschoolers the kids and I are looking at an entire year where our schedule will not be determined by outside influences and instead be entirely up to us. Think about it? Have you ever experienced such a thing? I haven't and I'm already finding it, well, weird.

Since we all thrive on routine, my task will be to come up with and maintain a schedule and routine for our "little" family. So many of our routines, however, were necessitated by Superman's work schedule. Without his work schedule to determine the order of things, we'll be figuring out what works for us. A neighbor needs me to watch her son before school, so I'll be starting my day before he arrives at 8:15 a.m. Since the children still want to be done with school when their friends might be available to play, our school day will be done by 4:00 p.m. Laundry, cleaning, and dishes, etc. will still be done daily, but won't take as long.

So, how will our days flow? I will confess that I don't know how it will all end up, but I do know that the kids are counting on me to demonstrate leadership and confidence so even if I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants, I will do it deliberately one day at a time.

One way or another, we'll be singing a happy song, even if I don't know the words yet. What will be doing to make your home sing this week? Head over to the Momstheword to see what everyone else is doing to keep their homes in harmony.

Making Your Home Sing Monday - The Don't-Forget-Anything Edition...

Sorry I'm so late today, but this is definitely going to be a hectic week! It is Making Your Home Sing Monday and this week is no different than any other: How Mom handles things determines the mood of the household. I'm doing my best to "go with the flow".

I won't lie to you, I'm feeling the pressure. I'm stressed about so many different things. First the mundane:

Packing: Will Superman's packing do well? Have we forgotten anything he'll need before we can ship it to him? Fortunately, we'll have APO privileges, so we can ship things to him easily, but still, how do you plan for a year?

The house: Have I thought about asking about all the things that he normally takes care of around the house? This part of the country has four seasons and means doing far more things to the house throughout the year than I ever did in So Cal. Blowing out the sprinklers? You're kidding me, right? Will the sprinklers work when we turn the water back on in April (oh please, oh please!)?

The cars: Does my car need any attention? What about his car?

Then the emotional:

How will we do this? What will it be like to be without my husband of 20 years for a year? What will it be like for the kids to only see their father via Skype? What about Charmings college graduation? Superman will miss it.

Honestly, we won't know anything until we are actually living it. In the meantime, we're just moving right along. What do they say? "Worrying about tomorrow robs today of its joy", so we're just not worrying.

I took Valiant to the oral surgeon for his pre-surgery consult...he's getting four wisdom teeth out next Monday and we have an appointment later in the week for an orthodontist consultation. He's got a Scout camping trip scheduled for the weekend of the 22 (doesn't snow camping sound fun to you?) and Stage Combat starts for both kids on the 30th. I even got my hair cut for the first time in 16 months this morning.

As I've been imagining life with Superman on the other side of the world, it has occurred to me that life goes on and things just need to get done. Dwelling on things won't help us accomplish those things. So, to make my house sing this week, I'm just putting one foot in front of the other and not looking too far ahead.

So here is where we are: Superman leaves on Friday...his flight leaves at 9:30 a.m., so we'll be saying "good-bye" at 8:30 when he crosses into the "ticketed passengers only" section of the airport. I really wish the kids and I could sit with him at the gate the way we used to do these days. Before he leaves, we're getting the kids passports, so we can go visit him if the opportunity arises.

So there you have it, Making Your Home Sing Monday at the Nagle5 household is a bit off-key this week, but we're moving right along. To see what everyone else is up to this second full week of 2010, head over to Momstheword and check in with them.

Making Your Home Sing Monday - Seriously?

Okay, so it is the first Monday of the year and I had very good intentions. I was going to join Nan's Making Your Home Sing Monday first thing this morning. I was going to get my errands done early in the day. I was going to get my desk cleaned up. And, of course, I was going to reclaim my home from the holidays.

Only one thing got in my way. Buttercup generously shared. Yes, she did. Unfortunately, what she shared was her pre-New Year's Eve cold. Ugh. I've been sneezing and tired and mentally foggy all day. Oh, don't get me wrong. We still got stuff done.

Superman headed back to work for his last full week with his current employer, Charming headed back to the dorms and Valiant, Buttercup and I set to work at restoring order to our home. Vacuuming, dusting, laundry, and the last of the de-Santa-fying process has been done. Bathrooms were cleaned and donations were made to Goodwill. Newspapers were dropped off at the recycling center and a package of odds and ends she left behind was mailed off to my sister today. (Did you know dirt freezes? I have fake poinsettias stuck in a planter out front...I pulled and pulled and can't get two of the stems out!)

What didn't get done? The guest bedroom sheets need to be changed and the trailer needs to be cleaned and put to bed for a delayed winter's sleep. All of our thank-you's need to be written.

Did I mention I inadvertently locked the cat in the greenhouse this afternoon? At least he got a warm nap while he waited for us to hear him mewing. Sigh.

Honestly, there wasn't much singing today. Maybe we'll have a Monday-on-Tuesday day tomorrow. One could hope.

In the meantime, head over to Nan's and read her thoughts on just how bad husband bashing is for your entire family in this weeks' Making Your Home Sing Monday. I happen to think she's dead right. What do you think?

Making Your Home Sing Monday (Christmas Is Coming Edition)

Can you believe Christmas is Friday?! I can't believe it! Of course, I have so much that is coming down to the wire, despite my best efforts. So much is going on and so much is yet to be done, but ready or not, Christmas will be here on Friday.

Making Your Home Sing Monday?! Seriously? Oh, yeah. This is the kind of week where attitude is everything. With the amount of pressure moms feel to make the holidays bright, with the hectic social calendar, and the adrenaline-filled behavior of our children, joyful and busy and can easily turn into overwhelmed and cranky. Throw in the normal concerns like getting your house ready for guests, keeping to your budget, and getting your regular chores done and this week can be daunting. For me, this week can easily spin out of control.

Keeping that in mind, I will be doing everything I can to keep the reason for the season in mind: LOVE. At its purist, most simplest interpretation, this season is about love. I will keep this message in the forefront of our minds by filling our house with signs of love: Christmas carols filling the air and the sweet smell of baked goods tickling our senses. Chores will get done, but silliness will be part of the schedule. I will be mindful of my children's growing excitement as the week progresses and remember how much of what I do is designed to feed that excitement and create those feelings of anticipation in them. My children are excited because I've worked so hard to make them aware of just how special this time of year is. They are excited to give to each other and beyond. They are excited to spread that love beyond our family and do random acts of kindness. I will not let my tiredness bring them down...I will lead by example and not forget why I do what I do: LOVE

So, this week is a love song, from start to finish. From the giving to the baking to the cleaning...it is all a love song.

Making Your Home Sing Monday

If you read my post on Saturday, you understand that I've been feeling frayed at the edges these days. Honestly, I think committing to add exercise every single solitary day was the straw that broke this camel's back. However, since I'm unwilling to give up this commitment, I have to get back to basics in other areas of my life. One way I'm doing this is to jump back on the Making Your Home Sing Monday bandwagon. Nan at Momstheword hosts this each week as a reminder to us all that our choices and attitude will determine the mood of our homes for the day and the week. Obviously, I need this these days.

Look, chaos is always at the edge of our lives and it is my firm belief that only through presence, our presence, that we can keep it at bay and keep our homes tranquil. I shoot for tranquil every day and some days are far better than others. When chaos is seeming to reign, however, and I find myself reacting instead of being proactive, I know it is "time to clean my room". What does this mean? It was something my mom used to help me learn that I was in control of my life. Whenever things would be feeling crazy and out of control, my mom would tell me, "go clean your room, you'll feel better". Of course, I'd grumble and moan and complain, but I'd do it and, darn it, she was right. I always felt better. No, I didn't save my parent's marriage and I didn't get that 16 year old boy to fall in love with me immediately, nor did I get perfect skin and a flat stomach, but I felt more able to cope with my reality when my environment was in order. It is just that simple. So fast forward 30 years and I'm still using this lesson: When life feels like it is coming at your from too many directions, "clean your room".

Reacting doesn't help me live my priorities with any integrity. Reacting gives me built in excuses as to why things I say matter don't get done. I have to be proactive to make sure that I'm living my priorities rather than just paying lip service to them. If I treat my jobs as "oh, yeah, I meant to get to that" kinds of things, how can I expect my children to treat their jobs as important, as priorities?

What does "clean my room" mean these days? Well, here it is 8:30 on Sunday evening and I'm not scrambling to get the kids' syllabus for the week done. It is already done and printed. I'm not going to fly by the seat of my pants for our dinners this week, either, because our menu plan is done. Finally, I'm not going to feel badly about posting in the evenings because I'll be posting early in the game rather than late. Monday chore day? I've gotten a head start and my sheets are changed and already washed and dried and waiting patiently for me to fold them this evening. Valiant's book for the Adolescent Literature Seminar? Already on order at the library; so we'll get that within a day or so, giving him more than a week to read Grapes of Wrath.

So, for this week, we're planning ahead so that next Saturday, I won't be pulling my hair out and holding on for Sunday. We're living our priorities, meeting our commitments and making no excuses. This week our house will be singing Loverboy's Everybody's Working for the Weekend because we're going to be dialed in and on task. (Hey, what can I say? The 80s were my teenage and young adult years!)

So, head over to Momstheword to see what everyone else is doing as we all join in on Making Your Home Sing Monday.

Making Your Home Sing Monday

You might have noticed that I'm not jumping on the MYHSM bandwagon every week. Some weeks our rhythm is so terrific, I don't feel inclined to mess with anything and I just want to leave things as they are and enjoy the flow. This week isn't one of them, so part of my promise to myself was to get it back on track and join Making Your Home Sing Monday until we're there again.

Nan says that Making Your Home Sing can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless."

Her post this week is all about persevering..."if at first you don't succeed, try, try again". I guess we're on the same page. After three weeks of chaos - first the kids got sick, then I got sick, then Superman got sick, then everyone was excited because I had a birthday (um, yippee?). Let's not forget a bit of a stress over Superman's job, either. Truthfully, we lost all semblance of a rhythm. Yes, I kept up with the chores (barely), but the kids didn't keep up with schoolwork beyond the absolute minimums (math and spelling and some history reading). It wasn't their fault...I just was too darned tired and overwhelmed to enforce anything. I was thrilled each night that they were fed (all day!) and that I was keeping up with the laundry and the dishes. The beds got made each day--I think. Vacuuming wasn't happening as often as it should, nor was dusting...and let's not talk about the bathrooms, okay?

Look, it happens to us all. That is where we're all the same. Where we're different is how we respond to the breakdown of our routines. Do we throw up our hands and say, "Well, it doesn't matter now because I've let this go and that go, so I can't ever catch up, " or do we say, "Well, this is fine mess. Where shall I start?". Remember that line from the Cat in the Hat: "...And this mess is so big and so deep and so tall, We can not pick it up. There is no way at all!" That is how our house felt when I was looking around Saturday after Game Night - I'd spent the day at a Baby Shower and then we'd hosted Game Night - six adults and eight kids in the house (yes, including us). Truly...I was overwhelmed and mentally exhausted - it was 11:30 p.m. and I just went to bed - I left it all however it was.

But, just like the story, I wasn't going to leave it that way. The Cat in the Hat comes back and says, "I always pick up all my playthings and so...I will show you another good trick that I know!"

Like the Cat in the Hat, I always pick up all my playthings. It is a good trick that I know. So yesterday, I began. I took charge in the morning by making a terrific breakfast (French Toast made from the one-hour bread), I changed our sheets and got two loads of laundry done. I got the kitchen cleaned and our bedroom cleaned up. I vacuumed the leaves up off the carpet (don't ask) and scooped up all the various debris that a family leaves all over the place. Then I headed downstairs and sat at the computer for two hours doing the kids' syllabus for the week and I did it better than I have for a few weeks. I added links to movies and web pages that would reinforce the lessons, I wrote notes about each topic. I didn't just go through the motions. I took charge.

Can I just say, when I take charge, everything happens the way it is supposed to? Here we are, Monday afternoon and the kids are engaged in their school work. They weren't distracted by a morning appointment at the oral surgeon (poor Valiant). Because I am on task, they are on task. They started bickering and I nipped it in the bud. The chores have been done and order has been reestablished.

Oh, and the song they're singing? Are you ready? They're singing the Taxonomy Oratio to help Buttercup learn the taxonomy for all living things...Oh, and they're also singing the Classification Rap. (Hey, I'm nothing if not thorough!)

So, head over to Nan's to see what everyone else is doing to Make Their Home's Sing today. You'll find inspiration at every turn!

No singing or crafting today...

This week I won't be making my house sing. I won't be sharing craft projects. Honestly, I won't even be trying. Nope, this week I am playing the role of Florence Nightingale aka "Doctor Mom". Yep, you guessed it. My house is an infirmary this week. Buttercup is sick, Valiant is sick, even Superman is sick. I'm doing everything I can to get everyone better. Me? I'm doing everything I can to fight it.


The house is a wreck from the weekend, however, as sickness didn't stop us from racing the against the weather. (The nighttime temperatures dropped into the teens this weekend.) The adults were pruning back the plants that we'll see again in the spring, ripping u the vegetable gardens and turning the soil, rescuing the potted plants by getting them into our new greenhouse (which Superman was racing to finish) and getting "milk house" heaters set up in it. We've still got to get the sprinklers blown (today!), as well as getting the windows sealed up for winter (which will wait until later this week). In between all this, we found ourselves telling the kids things like, "What are you doing outside with/without a jacket/shoes/shorts/flip flops? You are sick! Get back in the house." The kids, in the meantime, felt well enough to challenge all efforts to keep them warm, dry, and calm. Thus, they wore themselves out and are both feeling quite poorly today.

We probably didn't help ourselves by hosting Game Night again on Saturday, but, as always, it was super fun and all the neighborhood kids have colds, so it really seemed pointless to try to separate them after the fact.

So, if I just hum along while the rest of you sing today, I hope you'll understand. Head over to Momstheword, cheer her on as she gets ahead on her cooking, and see what everyone else is doing this week to make their homes sing.

P.S. If you do a Google Search to find a cute picture for "Nurse Mommy" you get the weirdest images! A sexy pregnant nurse?! What is up with that?

Making Your Home Sing Monday - Evening Edition

I knew a few days ago that I was going to join the Making Your Home Sing party this week, but staying true to my goals meant I couldn't get to the blog until just now. (Vowing to take care of business before hitting the computer is going make all this blogging stuff tough unless I get my act together!)


As you all probably know, we are homeschoolers. I love being a homeschooler, but I've floundered in a few areas. Organization has taken care of most of them, but my greatest struggle has been to keep the kids physically active all through winter. They don't do sports and the urge for all of us is to hibernate during the cold winter months of December, January, and February. Unfortunately, that has translated to a bit of springtime pudge that is not good for anybody.

Go, Buttercup, Go!
(Buttercup and a boy whose
name I can't remember in
Pee Wee Track & Field -
City of Covina, CA April 2005)

I vowed this year was going to be different. Today marks the beginning of our 5th week of school (yes, already) and we've settled into a good pattern with our academics and our chores and the weather is cooling off, meaning the kids are not playing outside until all hours of the evening. The time was right, so when I was writing up their assignments this weekend, I added a new subject. Yep, you guessed it...PE. Good old Physical Education. I informed the children that they needed to do 45 minutes of legitimate physical activity M-F. Oh, yeah, I informed them that school was completed until PE was done. If school isn't done, you don't get to play on the computer, you don't get to watch a movie, and you certainly don't get to head over to a friend's house to do the same. Both kids are on board, so now it is up to me to stick to my guns.

So, this week Making Your Home Sing at our house means you'll be hearing...wait for it...wait for it..."Let's Get Physical!" by Olivia Newton-John. (Oh, come on, you knew I'd have to pick that song for this subject--the video is a hoot!)

To see what everyone else is doing, head over to Momstheword and jump in on the party...the more the merrier.

Happy Monday!

I'm not really doing Making Your Home Sing Monday, but I still want you to head over and get inspiration from the bloggers who do have posts participating. I love that Momstheword is reminding us each week to stay focused on the power we have to create loving, warm, and welcoming homes. This week she's tackling the idea that maybe, just maybe, you should actually be home. This idea is dear to my heart, so I'm giving her a two thumbs up on this one. Running around all day might be fun, but it isn't necessarily good for your homelife.

So, why aren't I doing it? Well, I really have a system set up and for me, it is all about maintenance. My posts will fall under these three categories: 1) Already doing everything well and we're having a good week, 2) Falling off the wagon in some areas and trying hard to hold on, or 3) We've lost it and I need to refocus my efforts on keeping things in line. Nothing new here.

The truth is, I love Mondays. Seriously. I think it is the OCD in me, but I love when the house becomes my domain again, when our social life settles down, and routine can be in place. Don't get me wrong, I love the weekends, but I always feel scattered and disconnected during weekends. Weekdays follow a certain routine that works for me and that is just the truth. I've decided it is okay to be a girl who likes routine, who thrives under routine, as long as I don't get rigid. I don't want to be the "we're having meatloaf, so it must be Tuesday" kind of wife and mother, but I do like order and routine.

So, I have no new inspiration for you on MYHSM, but I do urge you to do what works for you, reject what doesn't with no apologies, and read about what others are doing to keep their households running smoothly. After all, we can always learn something new, can't we?

Making Your Home Sing Monday...

I can't believe it is already Monday again. Where did the time go? I think trying to get back into the swing of things after two weeks away combined with all the stress we were dealing with made the week pass in a blur. Throw in super hot days and, well, nothing seemed quite right. This week, however, we're hopeful for a better week. Keeping up with last week's tasks, I have the charity truck picking up on Thursday, so we're still going through our closets and cupboards to look for stuff we get shed ourselves of.


To that end, I'm jumping into Making Your Home Sing Monday with fervor. After some difficult parenting moments this weekend, our home is probably singing military cadences...yep, we've had some dissension in the ranks and I'm have to remind my children this isn't a democracy. Sweetness and light are great when everyone is taking care of business, but when some of the members of our family think "I don't want to" is a terrific reason for not taking care of their responsibilities, it falls to me to remind them that adults have a lot of things they don't enjoy doing (cleaning toilets? mopping floors? diapers?) but that we still do them. No, it is not the military and I'm being facetious when I say that is how it will be, but...obligations must be met, when they're supposed to be fulfilled, and in the manner they're supposed to be fulfilled. Not everything is up for negotiation.

Being the "mean mom" isn't fun, it isn't easy, and it isn't something I enjoy doing. Raising responsible adults is my job, however, and "I don't want to" doesn't work for me, either. So, this week, my household will be marching in step rather than singing and that is okay with me. Because, at the end of it all, I truly believe that legitimate accomplishment is the best motivator and, by golly, by the end of this week, those children of mine will have done a lot of things they can be proud of.

To see what everyone else is doing this week, head over to Momstheword and join in the Making Your Home Sing Monday gathering. It is a great way to a) get a feel for what everyone else is up to and b) get a reminder that you're not the only one!