Love Where You Are Right Now

 One of the greatest lessons I've learned over the years is to figure out how to love where you are right now, even while acknowledging all of the imperfections in your life.  Look, I freely acknowledge that I am wired to be an optimist, but still, it takes practice to see the ways in which your life is good, even as you're wondering how you're going to pay your bills this month or worrying about the decisions your adult child is making or the bigger questions like, will you ever get out of your apartment and buy a house or should you make a career change.  (In case you're wondering, for us getting out of an apartment and into a house took a LONG time!)  Daily life can beat you down and loving where you are despite the pressure, is challenging at first.  It's a muscle you have to flex regularly, so you can default to looking for the positives in life when they're hidden under layers of burden and true concerns.

In my previous life, I had a boss who told me that she always asked herself, "If this is as good as it will get, how good can I make this?" And that question and the sentiment that arises out of it has stuck with me all of these years.  I have incorporated that way of thinking into everything I do.  This doesn't mean you're not striving to accomplish some big goals, but rather, that you look at your "right now" through a lense of appreciation and with your attention directed towards optimizing your current situation.  After years of living this way, I have come to believe that this recognition of the many ways our lives are currently good paves the way for us to see opportunity when it comes our way.  

Using our own life as an example. as I stated previously, it took Superman and me a long time to move from our apartment to a house.  We had already had two of our three children and we had been together almost ten years.  But that didn't mean I wasn't trying to make our apartment home as lovely and warm and welcoming and efficient for a family of four as possible.  I wasn't waiting until I "had a house" before I "made a home" for our family.  I also wasn't waiting until I could be a SAHM before I did these things.  Nope.  I was working long days with a brutal commute and I still felt fortunate.  I felt fortunate that we had an apartment that opened onto a grassy area for our boys to play, that we had apartment managers who looked out for us, that we had two bathrooms (seriously--so great!!) and two parking spaces.  There were so many lovely things about our apartment life and I look back upon that time with great fondness.  We weren't waiting for a house to start our real lives.  We were making the best of where we were then, even as we were working towards the next big thing.

Put another way:  If you're always looking to tomorrow to start your "good" life, you're never going to see the power you have to make the life you have now a good one.  You have to look around and be able to say, "I like 'this' about my life."   When you've acknowledged all of the aspects of your life that you DO like, then you can turn your attention to the things that you DON'T like from a perspective of opportunity.  You have to take a moment to stop and appreciate what you have accomplished thus far and really recognize those legitimate accomplishments.   Only then, will you be able to turn your attention to those aspects of your life that are next in line for action.   There will always be work to be done, improvements that can be made, and that is okay.  What's important is to balance that reality with appreciation for the moment you're in right now.

Look at this picture...isn't the sunset gorgeous?  If I'd stayed focused on the chore of shoveling the driveway yet again, I wouldn't have looked up and seen this gorgeous post-snow sky.  Of course, my photo doesn't do it justice, but trust me, it was stunning.  We're so lucky that the proposed construction in the field behind us continues to be delayed, keeping our view so beautiful.  (It's been proposed for the 17 years we've lived here...I'd say we've been more than lucky!!)  But look a little more closely.  Do you see it?  One of my dogs was so happy to be outside after the snow stopped, he had the zoomies and made an exuberant loop-the-loop pattern in the snow and circled the firepit chairs numerous times.  How can you do anything but smile when you see that manifestation of joy so clearly there?  Anyway, snow is forecast for the entire week and there is no doubt I'll soon be grumbling about shoveling that driveway AGAIN, but this beautiful moment reminded me of how much I love where I live.

Bottom Line:  That saying "life is what you "make" of it" doesn't just refer to what you're doing, it refers to what you're thinking about what you're doing and "life" is right now, not tomorrow.

Do you ever stop to appreciate the things that bring a smile to your face?

I was thinking about it the other day.  How many things bring a smile to my face each and every day and how I often don't stop to really appreciate them.   Like so many people, I can get so caught up in my day-to-day life that I forget to slow down to experience my blessings in their richness.   I know times are tough...they really are...it is not our imagination, but still, we have so many things, big and small, to smile about each day if we just stop to see them.  So, I thought I'd share a few with you during this season of gratitude nestled in midst of some seriously challenging times.  Maybe it will help you see the smiles in your own day.

I was cleaning up the kitchen and came across this birthday card given to me a few weeks ago by my Buttercup.

She made it herself.  She said she thought the little kitty on the front made the card seem more like it was for me.  She was right.

She decided to carry the kitty theme further and gave me this little guy playing with a rhinestone ball on the inside.  Wasn't that thoughtful?  And wasn't it amazingly kind of my friend to give Buttercup the time and place to make such a wonderful card? 

Thinking of the card got me thinking back to my birthday and the gift Buttercup surprised me with.  She gave me what truly might have been the most amazing gift I've ever received.

Let me back up a minute.  For years, when the kids have asked me what I want to be when I grow up "besides a mommy, Mom!", I've always answered them with "a fairy princess with silver wings...so far, I haven't seen any want ads, but as soon as an opening for one of those opens up, I'm outta here!".  That never fails to make them smile.

Well, this year for my birthday, Buttercup decided to help me achieve my dreams...she gave me silver wings (with glitter), a tiara (royalty here, remember?), and a magic wand.  (Fairy princesses need wands, you know.)  Now I get to be a Fairy Princess with Silver Wings and a Mom...all my dreams in one place.

I've got to put the wings away soon, but for now, seeing them makes me smile at her kindness, her cleverness, and her generosity.   A daughter who is trying to make my dreams come true definitely brings a smile to my face.   Come on, admit it, you'd smile, too, wouldn't you?

A Case of Pepsi and a New Broad Knife...

Well, while most people go out and do exciting things to celebrate their anniversary, Superman and I decided it would be much more fun to have me watch him try to fix our furnace with the aid of Mr. R. (our friend and next-door neighbor). The weather outside was, in fact, frightful, so we really needed a furnace. Since Superman is a handy and Mr. R has a "b****in set of tools" (completely gratuitous Fast Times at Ridgemont High reference), they made it their mission on Tuesday to fix our furnace. They somehow located the part they needed in Spokane (yippee!); they also discovered that the reason we have so many problems with our furnace is that it is a mobile home furnace, NOT a furnace for a house the size of ours. (Obviously, a dilemma for another day!) After many mishaps and too much time spent on treacherous roads, they got the furnace fixed at 9 p.m. on the 30th; a mere 24 hours after we had discovered it was no longer working. Phew! (I think Mr. R felt a strong sense of urgency because he didn't want all five of us descending like a Mongol hoard.) My heroes...truly. (Mrs. R was pretty cool, too, because this meant she didn't have the services of Mr. R for the entire day!)

But, how to thank the friend and neighbor? Superman had already hooked Mr. R up with some Korean food, but I'd done nothing but stay out of the way. Then I had it! Mr. R likes Pepsi like no one you've ever seen. One trip to Costco later, and I was able to deliver a case of Pepsi to Mr. R in time for his New Year's Eve revelry! A case of Pepsi and some daegi bulgogi...what could be better?

(I also had to deliver a 10-inch broad knife to replace the one he sacrificed because it needed to be cut up for the metal which was then welded somehow to create a new part that they couldn't get. Don't you just love men who can fix things?)

So, thanks again for helping keep us warm this winter! You rock!

Gratitude...

The doorbell rang last night and, as I ran for the door, I had to wonder who had braved the weather to end up at our doorstep. (Two feet of snow in 24 hours is a lot of snow so it required an intrepid person to make any trips, that is for certain.) Imagine my delight when I discovered Mr. M and his daughter on my doorstep, bringing us this lovely wreath and some home-made Christmas candies. Mrs. M is so clever and her candies are awesome. (I really like the bird-nesty one with marshmallows!) I was tickled when I saw it and immediately ripped the fake wreath off the door and replaced it with this amazing real one! (I think Mr. M was a bit taken aback by my enthusiasm!)

Where she found the time to do these things this year, I don't know. In addition to her wife and mother duties, she's added full-time student to her many hats...and they are finishing up a huge basement remodel. Oh, did I mention that her husband is active-duty military and keeps disappearing with little notice? In the midst of all she has going on in her life, she got us this lovely wreath (you should smell it!) and made her terrific home-made candies. I feel so special and I have such gratitude in my heart. These are the things that remind us it is truly not the money we spend, but the thought we put into our gifts that makes a lasting impression. So, to Mr. and Mrs. M, thanks so much for such wonderful gifts. We love them! We are so grateful that we have friends like you in our lives.