Monday Musings - Please Hang Up

Walking through a grocery store recently, my eyes landed on an adorable baby...gurgling and cooing and laughing up at its mother.  I immediately remembered all the trips to the grocery store that I took with my babies..."discussing" our grocery list, the quality of the produce, and making "conversation" during the entire trip.  It was a wonderful time with each of them.  The mother, unfortunately, never once even made eye contact with the baby, let alone responded to her baby.  Why?  She was on her blue tooth and carrying on an animated conversation with someone on the other end.  She was laughing and gesturing and her baby was trying to participate, but to no avail.  The mother was ignoring the baby in favor of her phone conversation.  It was so sad.  How long before the baby stops trying and just sits like a lump in a car seat?

This scene was not unique.  I see it all the time.  I see it when mothers are priding themselves on taking daily walks with their babies only to be on the phone during the entire outing and, again, not interacting with their baby at all.  Um, I don't think you really get kudos for that...it isn't really "quality time".  How are these babies going to be socialized properly?  How are they going to understand the give and take of communication?  The lack parental response to the baby's attempts to communicate with them has got to have a negative effect on these children.  This is when synapses and neurons are making those vital connections in the brain.  It is when attachment is formed and, yet, the baby is being ignored.   It used to be that mothers and babies babbled to each other all day long.  Cooking, cleaning, shopping, visiting other adults and children...verbal communication was a constant give and take, even though the baby wasn't very verbal.   In that way, children learn the give and take of communication, as well as the nuances of unspoken communication.  All this is lost when mothers don't recognize/notice and fail to respond to these emerging communicators.  And we're sacrificing this so we can be on the phone longer?  Seriously? 

Washington has a hands-free law, too, which means people are driving around with blue tooth devices in their ears all the time.  In theory, this is a great thing, right?  Their hands are on the wheels after all.  Unfortunately, their attention is still not on the road.  I've been cut off by people talking on their blue-tooth devices more times than I can even guess.  If you're focused on a phone conversation, you're not focused on the road.  It is just that simple.  Oh, and to the person in the blue sedan who turned into my lane in the parking lot without ever even looking my direction because your phone conversation was oh-so-important:  You're welcome.  I saw you walking to your car when I was walking to my car with my kids.  I heard you talking on the phone as you walked to the car, and noticed that you continued your conversation as you blithely pulled into the traffic lane without turning your head. I told my kids to keep an eye on you because you weren't paying attention to driving and I was correct.  It was fortunate for you that I was paying attention and realized that you weren't, because, in a contest between my big Suburban and your little sedan, there is no doubt who would have won.

Oh, and let's not forget the people who are chatting away on their cell phones as they go through check out lines, go through drive through, and are just walking through the aisles of a store.  Why don't you notice that it is absolutely the height of rudeness to continue speaking on the telephone when someone is serving you?  Do people not realize that the person ringing up their groceries, taking their order, or processing their prescriptions or dry-cleaning are people and, therefore, deserving the courtesy of attention for the 2 minutes they will serve them?

So, this is my question:  What will it take to get all of you to just please hang up?  Seriously.  You're on the phone all the time.  The people in your ear are far more important to you that the people standing (or sitting) in front of you.  The conversation you're having is far more important that the road and the cars you're sharing it with.  What can be so important?  Please hang up the phone.  Interact with the people you're actually with.  Your children will thank you.  The other drivers on the road will thank you.  The people who serve you daily will thank you.  Just think of all that positive energy that will be headed your way.

Friday Photo Flashback

It is Friday Photo Flashback, the time that Alicia at More Than Words asks us to dig through our predigital photos and take a walk down memory lane. Sorry I'm late, but I do have some fun photos today. When you're done looking at mine, go see what everyone else dug up...it is always fun.

My youngest brother and his wife welcomed their first child on October 8. Thumbelina was born a bit early and is tiny, but at almost 5 pounds is doing fine. Isn't she a cutie? (I think she looks like Charming's baby pictures, but I really can't say yet.)


Thinking about them bringing home their new baby, I couldn't help but think about how it felt when I was bringing home new babies. That season of our lives passes so quickly, yet, as we're living it, we can't see it ending. So, hopefully, Thumbelina is keeping her parents on their toes and they are availing themselves of their digital camera every chance they get, because she's truly changing before their eyes and, before they know it, she won't be a baby any more.

In 1991, we had Charming. He was one week old in this picture. Look how small he was compared to Superman's hands. (Who would have guessed this tiny little baby would have become a 6'5" man? I certainly couldn't have imagined it.)

When we had Valiant in 1996, we finally had to admit that Charming wasn't a baby anymore. This picture was taken when Valiant was 5 weeks old and Charming was 5 years old. We were doing the Derby Days 5K in Santa Anita. It was so fun. Look how tiny Valiant was...Charming was a big boy...almost through kindergarten already.

And, three years later, we welcomed Buttercup to our growing family. In this picture, she is three weeks old and sleeping on Superman. (Dad is always the most comfortable bed.)


It had been 8 years since we'd brought Charming home from the hospital. A lot can happen in 8 years, can't it? Charming was in 3rd grade and Valiant was 3 years old.

(Buttercup looksa bit concerned at Valiant's grip, doesn't she?) This picture was taken more than 10 years ago...Charming is a man now and Valiant is already almost as tall as I am. Buttercup doesn't think she's the baby of the family (and won't accept it when we tell her she'll always be the baby of the family.)

So, all I have to say to my brother and his wife? Just don't blink, because before you know it, that baby girl will be all grown up and you'll wonder where the time went.