Lost in Translation?

I've lost my voice these past few weeks. Truly. I can't seem to string together anything cohesive and find myself overwhelmed most of the time. Superman has been gone more than 3 months now and is finding our Skype conversations less than satisfactory. As I don't want to spend our brief times "together" whining about life at home, I just seem distracted for no reason. I don't tell him the real deal: Broken sprinklers, power failures, bugs/ants, plant disasters, broken bikes, broken vacuums, checks that never arrive in the mail, and children who swing back and forth between angelic and heads-spinning-around.

With the advent of spring, the house/yard needs new and different attention...all of it very labor intense. I'm feeling pulled in more directions than ever and the strain is starting to show. I fall to bed exhausted and wake up at the crack of dawn thinking about the things I didn't get done the day before. It is not just me, either. The kids are struggling with their normal school work these days. Their focus is just shot. The weather is beckoning them, just not for yard work. The girl is arguing with me about school almost every day and the boy is just quietly not getting stuff done.

I know I don't have it tough. I know I'm lucky to have a husband who is working so hard to help our family get out of debt and get ahead. (But right now I don't feel like I have a husband.) I know I'm lucky to have three healthy happy children. (But right now I feel like my children think I'm the enemy.) I know I'm lucky to have this beautiful house to live in. (But right now this house wants too much from me.) I know I'm lucky to have wonderful friends and neighbors. (But right now I feel invisible.) I know I'm just tired. I know I'll eventually have a minute to take a breath, to return a phone call, to sew something pretty...but right now, right this very minute, I am having trouble keeping things in perspective. Right now, I'm having trouble seeing beyond this moment. Right now, I've lost my voice...

I'll Get There

I know today is the day I'm supposed to post my 4 of 52 for Shoot Me! and I will, but first I just have to say: I'm tired. Seriously. Superman will be the first person to admit that he didn't do a ton of stuff in the managing of our household, but obviously he did enough (especially on weekends) that I could recharge my batteries. With Superman gone, it is falling on me exclusively and by yesterday evening I realized that I was seriously tired. The kids were at youth group and I could do nothing...I couldn't come up with any task (other than folding the laundry from earlier in the day) that I was willing to do. I ended up Skyping with Superman for two hours and it was wonderful, but when we were done, I couldn't rouse myself to do more than play BeJeweled on the computer and then head upstairs for bed.

Oh, I know I'll get there, but for now? I have new-found respect for single moms (and my friend who never stops moving, even when her husband is deployed).

I'm tired.

30 Day Challenge - Day 17 (Museum Day Edition)

Well, it is Day 17 and Museum Day. What does that mean? It means we had to get our workouts done in time for us to leave the house before noon. Since we figured people would be more inclined to sit near us if we showered before we headed out, that had to be scheduled in as well. That makes for a hectic morning.


So, here it is 11:27 and Valiant is in the shower. Day 17 is done. The video wasn't a problem, but I am so tired today. Seriously dragging. I'd say I was tired enough to skip it, but that never occurred to me. Instead, I was wishing I could have two or three more hours before I did it. The bike nearly killed me. Today's workout was one of those where all I can say is, "It is done and I am done and that is all there is to it." So, there.

Day 17 is finished... no whining, no complaining, but not exactly exhilarating.

My friend at Generations Gone By got in her 30 minutes on the Wii yesterday (yes, she did extra) and my sister LoveAphid swears she'll be starting up again today. She hasn't done it since the 24th...you today is going to be a humbling experience! In the meantime, you should head over to Gens and see if you can't help her find Baby Jesus...he's gone missing. Also, my friend Melissa is back on track after a difficult few weeks...go say, "Hi"...she's got less than a month until she's done 365 Days of Exercise and she's starting a push to lose 10 pounds by the end of the year...pretty impressive, don't you think?

Okay, I'm headed for the showers...see you later...

What will you do to make yourself feel proud?